Thursday, August 8, 2013

Heavenly Father's Love

Last week I had the opportunity to go to Girl's Camp with the girls ages 12-18 from our church. I was gone for 5 days. I was really excited to go, but was worried about how my 1 year old son and 2 year old daughter would do with me gone. My son had never been away from me for more than 5 hours before. I had some anxiety about leaving him, but knew it was important for me to go. My husband took time off so he was home full time. The night before I left, I prayed that the kids would be ok. That my 1 and 2 year old would adjust well and be ok with me being gone and that they would understand I was coming back. I prayed the same thing daily while I was at camp. The week went on and the reception was barely existing since we were out in the woods. But I was able to get a text every once in a while, so checked in daily at home. My husband let me know that the kids were doing great. Better than expected. I was glad, but then it started to make me feel sad that they didn't even seem to miss me. When I got home and got to love on my kids, I felt better until I let my mind think about it too much. I began feeling depressed. I began feeling that my kids didn't even need me. That I really had no purpose here. When I went to bed and said my nightly prayer I broke down in tears. I cried to Heavenly Father asking what my purpose even was. That I was feeling like my children didn't need me. After I finished my prayer and laid in bed crying. I heard a voice saying, "You asked me to take care of them and I did." Instantly the depression lifted and my tears became tears of gratitude and peace. What an incredible blessing that was.

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