Blessed By God's Love

So many amazing things have happened in our life this past week.  It has been chaotic with the move, but each day has been filled with blessings and little miracles.  I just didn't have internet hooked up until yesterday, so wasn't able to write about them.

It is so apparent that God is in our lives.  That his hand guides us and that he wants to see us each succeed.  Difference is, God's thoughts on success are different than most mortals.  We view success as having a really good paying job, big house, fancy car...you know, the type of things that make us feel good enough about ourselves to want to go to our high school reunions.  Success in God's eyes are very different from those things.  His kind of success is far greater.

I am so grateful to have God in my life.  I am so grateful for the knowledge that I have of him and his son, Jesus Christ.  I am so blessed to have been born into a Christian family so that I could grow up knowing about our Father in Heaven and Jesus Christ.  In my adult life things always turn out as long as I have listened to the promptings of the spirit in where I need to be and what I need to be doing.  Even during the struggles, as long as I stay close to God then I am just fine.

He takes care of us.  I have heard people ask why he lets bad things happen to us if he loves us so much.  Why he lets us make mistakes, etc.  I have come to realize, through being a parent, that you can't MAKE your kids make the right choices.  All you can do is provide them with the knowledge they need in order to succeed and make the right choices.  It is up to them to use that knowledge.  If they are made to make the right choices then they learn nothing from it.  If they make bad choices, fall at times, then they learn and grow.  That is what God does for us.  I am so grateful that he loves me enough to let me make my own mistakes and choices.  Because I have grown so very much the past couple years due to making wrong decisions and even due to making right decisions.

I am just feeling so extremely blessed today.

Lead By The Spirit

Fifteen months ago we sold our first home and moved in with family.  Thinking it would be a couple month situation, we went into it rather enthused.  Then things didn't work out.  We have been living with family ever since.  Although I am so very grateful for my family and for them allowing us to stay with them for so long, we definitely have had a hard time getting used to not having our own stuff and our own space.

We have been trying so hard.  My husband has been working so hard (working a job even with his back in so much pain), but we stayed stuck for a very long time.  It honestly seemed like we would never get a place of our own.  Until this past week when we decided to find a place to rent and pay a year on (which I blogged about in Answered Prayers )

We have been searching for a house in a very specific area of town and nothing was working out.  Then last night I was looking at ads with my mom.  I ended up clicking on one that was slightly more than the ones we had been looking at.  It sounded amazing.  I called to ask where it was and when she told me (and it wasn't in the area we wanted) I said, "thank you" and hung up.  Something told me to call back and ask if she would allow pets and ask to see it.  So I called right back.  She normally wouldn't want pets indoors, but said if I can promise I would make sure they wouldn't tear up the house then she would allow it.  Then she said if 9 pm wasn't too late that we could see it last night.  Otherwise wait til morning.  We opted to see it at 9 pm.

We weren't planning on taking the kids to see it, but we didn't get them to bed in time so ended up taking them with us.  When we pulled into the driveway we felt so good about it.  Then as soon as we walked into the house we fell in love.  It was exactly what we have been looking for.  The kids were running around all excited.  They went upstairs and chose their rooms (surprisingly no fight, they each wanted a different room!).  As we walked around from room to room, it felt like home.  We began planning where things would go.

It was 9:20 pm...we decided we wanted it.  I called the landlord (she had the neighbor show us the house because she lives far away) and talked to her about it.  I was expecting her to say she would get the application for us to fill out for the background check and credit report (which is what all the other places asked for), but instead she asked, "How soon would you like to move in?"  I told her as soon as able.  She said, "I will drive up tomorrow and you can sign the paperwork and I will give you the keys." 

I was in total shock!  I whispered to my husband and Mom, "We move in tomorrow!"  They got so excited.  When I got off the phone, I told the kids.  They were screeching and jumping up and down.  My 10 year old, J, started crying.  Worried she was crying because it meant switching schools and church building, I asked if she was ok with it.  She nodded and said how happy she was. 

What an incredible miracle and blessing.  God has truly provided for us.  He has blessed us to greatly.

Mommy's Girl

Today I was reading to E (my 4 year old).  One of the books she asked me to read was "Dumbo."  It was new so she had never heard the story before and has never seen the cartoon.  While reading it to her, she clung onto my arm and laid her head against me.  When I was done reading the story, I looked down and saw tears in her eyes.

I asked her if she was crying.  She wiped her eye and said, "No, it's just water..."  I told her that it is ok if she was crying.  She nodded her head.  I had to prod her to find out why she was crying.  In the story, Dumbo's mom was taken away and locked up.  He wasn't able to see her or have her rock him to sleep in her trunk any more.  That made E so sad.  After her telling me this, it made sense why she clung to me during the story.

It was sad, but sweet at the same time.  She normally doesn't cry when it comes to things happening in movies or books.  She has such a fear of being away from me though, so I am sure that is why this book brought on tears.

I am so grateful that I get to be a stay at home mom.  I am glad that she can have that bonding time with me that she needs.  Seeing how this book affected her emotions made me feel even more blessed to be able to be home with the kids. 

Answered Prayers

We have all been praying that something would work out for us to buy a home.  My husband and I both felt rather hopeless because nothing has been working out.  We have been living with family for over a year and have had our things in storage for just as long.  It has been discouraging, but we kept praying.  Then last night something happened.

Every night my husband and I read scriptures together.  Last night while reading scriptures at 1 in the morning, I reached over and touched his hand.  Upon touching his hand, I immediately felt a rush of happiness go shooting up my arm, to my heart and throughout the rest of my body.  Then about a minute later I had another feeling of energy rush through me from head to toe like a bolt of lighting.  With this came the clear thought into my head, "You have the money to pay for a years worth of renting.  Rent instead of buy."  I also had the thought with it that we would have better income by then to qualify for a higher loan than we are now, which means getting a nicer house that won't have to be totally renovated. 

I had it in my mind for so long that we can't afford to rent.  But because of the car accident settlement, as small as our portion ended up being, we can rent a home.  I was so excited and so happy.  I had a difficult time going to sleep.  I wanted to shout from the rooftops that God had answered my pleas!  God listened and answered!  What an incredible feeling that was.  I went into the bathroom and cried as I thanked Heavenly Father a couple dozen times.  (was too embarrassed to let my husband see so that is why I went into the bathroom lol)

Today I have felt happy and excited and grateful.  Instead of waiting months and months to see if we would get the short sale house that would take a few thousand to fix up, we could be moving into a place in the next couple weeks.  God is good.  All the time.

Debt Free! Well...mostly...

Today I was able to pay off my student loans in FULL!!!  That is such a big deal and such a major miracle.  I have had to defer the payments for 2 years due to not even being able to make payments of any kind.  Now I was able to pay it off.  So grateful for the car accident settlement that allowed us to get this debt paid off.  (Just not grateful for the horrible pain my husband is still in from the car accident)

I find it interesting how often the money we need comes when we most need it.  Makes the struggles we go through in the mean time worth it.

Bedtime

Yet another post that most won't quite understand unless they are a parent...

My 2 older kids have been very difficult to get to sleep lately.  We will get them all tucked in around 8 and it will take about 3 hours before they will finally fall asleep, sometimes longer.  It has made bedtime so stressful!  I used to look forward to bedtime so I could have a moment of peace and time spent with my husband, but that hasn't worked out lately.

Tonight was definitely a miracle.  The older kids were asleep by 8:30!  Neither one got out of bed, goofed off or came up with excuse after excuse to come talk to us.  It was wonderful!  My husband and I had started watching Harry Potter: Deathly Hallows Part 1 last night and didn't get to finish it due to the kids getting up so much.  So I am very happy that we get to cuddle up and finish watching it tonight :)

Who I Have Become

Lately I have been having flashes of memories pop into my head from my teenage years and young adult years.  I am so embarrassed by who I was.  Especially because it wasn't the true me.  I feel bad for those who were around me during those years. 

I am very grateful though, for who I am today.  What a blessing it has been to get to the point of being someone I am no longer ashamed to be.  I know I still have a lot to work on, but what person doesn't have to work on themselves?  I am a much better person than I used to be. 

I am so blessed that even with all the mistakes that I made I was able to still end up with the man I was meant to marry, have children with and spend forever with.  Life may be stressful and full of trials, but at least I get to go through it all with my husband by my side to help me through it. 

Sleep Deprived Mom

Last night my baby woke up at 3 am and didn't go back to sleep until 5 am.  So needless to say, I barely slept last night.  Running on not much sleep, I could hardly keep my eyes open.  Yet I somehow managed to make it through the day.  Not just make it through the day, but be able to take all 3 kids shopping at Goodwill and then go to the mall.  After that I made a yummy, healthy dinner. 

Sounds silly, but if you are a parent I am sure you understand what a blessing it is to be able to function as a parent after very little sleep. 

Stuck in My Own Little World

Some days are truly just too difficult to find a blessing or miracle.  Today was very stressful.  After 2 of the kids were asleep, I sat at the computer and put on music to try to lift my mood.  My 3 month old lit up while I was singing.  So I decided to find music videos that had the lyrics on it so I could sing more to her.  She loved it.  Not only did it make her happy, but it made me feel so much better.  While singing inspirational lyrics I was touched by the spirit.  I truly needed that after today.  So a wonderful miracle happened after all.

This song is an amazing song and it got me thinking about how I need to get out my own little world.

Listen To The Sound

I know that I already posted today, but as I listened to the radio this song came on.  I have been feeling overwhelmed with life lately and this song was what I needed to hear tonight.

"Listen To The Sound" by Building 429

Are you in over your head
Are you in water so deep you're drowning
Do you think you've been left
And there is no one to feel your hurting
Well, everybody has been there
And everybody's felt lost
If you're in over your head
Lift it up, lift it up

Oh, listen to the sound of hope that's rising
Up over your horizon
Listen to the sound, listen to the sound
And listen to the sound of a new beginning
Oh, this is where the old is ending
Listen to the sound, listen to the sound

I hear you say you're alone
I hear you saying that you'll never make it
I've got to tell you you're wrong
'Cause I have been down this path you're taking
You never know what faith is
'Til you don't understand
Sometimes it takes a silence
To finally hear His plan

Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound
I once was lost, but now I'm found
Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound
I once was lost, but now I'm found

His Grace is reaching for us
His Grace is reaching out
Listen to the sound, listen to the sound
Wherever you are

 

 

Day of Relaxing

Yesterday was a hectic day.  I was running around from appointment to appointment and squeezing in the shopping too.  By the end of the day, I was exhausted and hurting.  So today was a much needed blessing.  I never even left the house today!! :)

I sat and held my baby a lot today because she was really wanting to be loved on.  Which was wonderful to get to do!  It gave me a reason to sit and relax and it allowed me to get some quality cuddle time in with her.  I got things accomplished today too.  I made 2 cakes and 12 cupcakes for my daughter's Birthday.  I made, colored and cut out of each of the planets (pretty much to scale) for the "Asteroid Toss" game we are going to do at her Birthday party.  And I am about to sit and read books with my 4 year old.

I am so grateful for a more relaxed day!

Date Night

My husband and I got to go out and have a date night.  That doesn't happen very often so it was a big deal to me.  My niece offered to watch the kids so that we could go out to a movie together.  My husband and I have never been to a movie alone before!  Until tonight, that is :)

It was so nice to spend time together.  We had family time during the day, which was really nice.  Then our date night of going to the movies and then getting ice cream afterward.  I am so grateful for my niece and mom for watching the kids.  And I am so blessed to have a wonderful husband to get to go on date nights with. 

Life is Looking Up

We have been living with family for going on 15 months.  As much as we love being around family, we certainly are ready for our own place.  Things keep happening that make it so we aren't able to get our own house or place to rent.  I got sick of getting my hopes up that it would happen any time soon.  I got my hopes up with the car accident settlement and had those hopes crushed (after the lawyer gets his cut and Labor & Industries gets their cut...then insurance company and doctors....we were left with barely anything at all).  So I gave up.

Then out of curiosity and boredom, I was searching houses online.  I found one that is super, super cheap.  Barely over the amount we qualify for in a loan.  I texted my husband at work and told him that if L&I will reduce their lien on the settlement in half then we would have the exact right amount of money to pay my student loan off and put a down payment on that house.  Wishful thinking....or so I thought.

Well, my mom brings in the mail and there was a letter addressed to my husband from L&I.  I patiently waited for him to get home and as soon as he walked in the door I handed it to him to open.  In it the letter stated the amount we are expected to pay them.  They reduced their amount the exact amount we needed them to.

What an amazing miracle!  Of course we aren't positive that things will work out with that particular house, but that doesn't change the miracle that happened and it won't change my belief in answered prayers.

True Love

I am laying here in bed.  Everyone is asleep, even the baby.  I really should be sleeping since it is nearly 1 am.  But I just can't shut my mind off.  It is racing through too many thoughts to even process.  I figure that writing a blog will force me to focus on one thing...we shall see if that works :)

I am laying here next to my husband and feeling so blessed.  I am so in love with him.  I feel like I have known him my whole life and can't even remember life without him.  It's like he has been there from the beginning.  Now that is a special kind of love.  A love that is truly a blessing.  I thank my Father in Heaven every day for bringing us together. 

Girls Night Out

I am very much a homebody.  I kind of like it that way.  But with being at home with 3 kids all the time....I definitely can use time out to de-stress.  So tonight my amazing husband came home from working a long day and watched the kids so I could go out to a movie with my niece.

We went and saw a chick flick and then sat in Carl's Jr eating and talking for a long time.  For those few hours I had no worries, no responsibilities.  Just got to laugh, talk and have a good time.  PLUS I got to actually sit and watch an entire movie without interruptions!  I honestly can't tell you when the last time I have watched a movie from beginning to end without being interrupted was.  It was just what I needed.

Another wonderful thing is that when I came home, my husband had the two older kids in bed and was holding the baby.  I am one lucky girl :)

I Am a Child of God

Life has been real difficult lately.  Trying to think of "miracles" in my daily life hasn't come easy.  In fact, that is why I haven't written.  I just couldn't see much good to focus on.  Until today.


Today I had a strong realization of how much God loves me.  That I am his daughter and he loves me.  I am not perfect, I make mistakes, but he loves me anyway.  This realization came when I was listening to K-Love and a song by Sidewalk Prophets came on called, "You Love Me Anyway."

"Still you call me to walk
On the edge of this world
To spread my dreams and fly
But the future’s so far
My heart is so frail
I think I’d rather stay inside
But You love me anyway
It’s like nothing in life that I’ve ever known
You love me anyway
Oh Lord, how You love me
How You love me"

I may be going through a hard time, but God is there and he loves me anyway.  Just because I am going through trials does not mean he has abandoned me.  He is there, I just need to let myself feel him there and not abandon him.  

Freedom Isn't Free

Today I wanted to take the time to express how grateful I am for the admirable men and women who are serving our country and have served our country in the past.  For all the men and women who have lost their lives in an effort to protect our country.  These are amazing people.  The families of these men and women are just as amazing too.  To support their spouses, children, siblings, parents, etc, knowing that they may lose their lives...  I don't imagine it to be an easy thing to do.  I thank you for being supportive of those loved ones in their honorable decision to fight for our country.

I would also like to pay tribute to my grandpa.  My grandpa was in the Army during World War II and then moved on to the Air Force.  He was over in Korea during the Korean War and then in the Vietnam War.  I am so proud of my Grandpa.  He took care of his family, as well as his country.   

The Importance of Family

Family is so important to me.  The way I prefer life is to be surrounded by as much family as I can.  I am fortunate enough to live 1/4 mile away from my brother, his wife and kids.  And for the time being, my husband, kids and I live with my parents. I feel so blessed to have so much family around.

My niece is staying with us for the summer.  She is so wonderful with my kids and is always making us laugh.  Tonight my mom, niece and I sat around at the dinner table after everyone else had gone off to do other things.  We talked and laughed as we put off cleaning up and putting the kids to bed.  I really needed those few moments talking and laughing.  Where we all could just be ourselves.  That is the beauty of family.  It is safe to be ourselves around them.  These moments are ones I will always cherish. 

Simon Says, "Play with your kids."

The weather was absolutely beautiful today.  Almost too warm for my liking, but it was gorgeous out.  My two older daughters wanted to do something "special" with me.  They were suggesting board games or video games, but it was way too nice out to be inside.  Plus with there being a big age difference between them, it makes it difficult to find a game we can all play together.

We began with Simon Says and then went on to play Red Light, Green Light.  It got pretty interesting when we switched spots so that I wasn't the one calling out the commands because I was having to attempt to play while holding my baby in my arms.  So needless to say, I lost every turn. Which of course made the girls find it even funner.  Then we ended with playing "Mother May I," which I hadn't played in probably 20 years! :) 

It is amazing how doing something as simple as stepping away from the chores that need to be done and instead play a game with the kids can make ones day brighter.

Sparking a Memory

This past week has been rather stressful (which is why I haven't had the chance to write).  Finally today we got all packed up in the van and headed home.  After being gone for the week, I was looking forward to getting home to my own bed.

Still feeling stressed and overwhelmed from the week, I sort of grumpily sat in the passenger seat as we drove home.  Part way into our trip, I looked up and noticed the butterfly hanging from the rear view mirror.  It is always there, but because it has hung from my rear view mirror in any car I have had for the past 6 years, I have gotten used to it being there and tend to forget it is even there.  But today I noticed it and it brought back good memories.

When my oldest daughter was 3, my sister-in-law had gotten all the nieces and nephews together (the ones that lived nearby) to help them make Mother's Day presents.  This is what J made for me.  It was my very first Mother's Day present.  It meant the world to me and still does.  Seeing it hanging there as a reminder of J's love for me just made my day